There is just something mind-bogglingly unreal about the Reptile Palace Orchestra. Unreal, surreal, and captivating. I can honestly say that I’ve never heard anything quite like them before. And I’ve listened to a wide range of styles, thanks to Green Man.

These guys are a breed all unto themselves. Every time I thought I’d found a way to nail down just what this group was about, they’d switch tracks completely, hopping from one train of thought to the next like musical hobos. Part Bulgarian, part Colombian, part swing, part Balkan, part guy-with-an-iguana-head-riding-in-a-motorboat-with-three-kids, the Reptile Palace Orchestra certainly can’t have any rivals for whatever the heck it is they do. For one thing, I don’t know if the world’s big enough to support more than one of them!

I’ll say this, they play more instruments than I ever dreamed existed. The liner notes’ listing of the musicians that make up the RPO, and the instruments they play, runs like this:

Siggi Baldursson: drumkit, dumbek, surdo, shakers, percussion, vocals

Seth Blair: Jenson 6-string electric cello, vocals

Doug Code: clarinets, saxophone, accordion

Bill Feeny: guitar, vocals, Arp Odyssey

Anna Purnell: lead vocals, trumpet

Robert Schoville: surdo, bells, shaker, cajon, other percussion

Biff Uranus: electric and acoustic violins, Mandoblaster, Stratocaster, Therolin, balalaika, vocals

Now, the reason I went to the trouble of listing all of those is because you have to comprehend the sheer range of instruments utilized in turning out the music that the RPO does. (Biff Uranus? Do I even dare wonder?)

Now, curiosity took me to the RPO’s Web site, located just off of the Omnium Web site. Fascination made me stay. I just have to share this blurb from their site, as it sums up the RPO in less words than I can:
“RPO delight concertgoers with their original mixing of East and West, Funk and Folk and skin-shedding torch tunes. Gypsy Rock? Traditional toe-twisters? Balkan Lounge Funk? There’s a lizard trying to fit into a pigeonhole. Elvis + Armenia + Funkadelic + Bulgaria = RPO.”

Macedonian guitar jock? Scientist turned Turkmanistani cello star? Grapelli-cum-Zappa? These guys really do have it all. And I haven’t even gotten to the music.

By the eternal lateness of Godot, the music. Compelling, haunting, jaunty, personal, demanding, and devouring. I’ve wrestled with this CD for months, trying to find a way to do it justice.

Where do I start? At the beginning, with “El Pescador,” a charming little classic Colombian tune about a fisherman? As the notes say, “If it’s Colombian and it’s about a pescador, it’s going to be good.” Seriously, it’s the perfect introduction for the band that can’t be introduced. Cue rain forest, enter foreign-language singing (always a treat at parties!), bring up the instruments stage right, and straight on until morning.

How about the semi-title track, “Enchanted Reptile Palace?” It’s a swing tune about Cowboy John, his dream, and a tacky roadside attraction out in the Badlands, a place we just had to call the “one true Enchanted Reptile Palace.” The RPO completely changes styles to handle this one.

Up next is “Sombre Reptiles,” which resembles the previous song in the same way that rain resembles a hail of frogs. No singing this time, but plenty of haunting, luring music.

“Gankino Horo” is described as a classic Bulgarian kopanica. I have no idea what that means, but it seems to be an invitation to dance wildly, most likely flailing about with a partner. Lord knows, it feels like a dance tune! Well, for the first few minutes. Then it suddenly takes a left turn into a more discordant, unharmonious, downright hostile field, becoming a cacophony of music that is nevertheless compelling, and even frightening in its intensity. And wait, there’s more. I have to admit that the latter half of this selection is one of the most disturbing, mindblowing, soul-shivering songs I’ve ever heard. It has to be heard to be believed, but any selection that can chill me to the bones is hard to ignore. Wow. Just … wow. Turn the volume up, and the lights down, and experience it for yourself.

“Speak Softly Love” brings back the vocals for some fun in the sun, a bastard blend of croon, ballad, and swing that I can’t quite put my finger on.

“Small Horizons” is yet another departure from what’s gone before, this time with more of a lovesong feel, but without the lovesong reality.

With each subsequent track, RPO seems to reinvent itself, leaving me unable to define them as anything else besides “immensely talented and a little insane.” “Lupita” is as different from “Catwoman” as the London Symphony is from Metallica, and all of those are different from any of the other songs.

Wow.

And guess what? The ten tracks you hear on your CD are just the beginning. Iguana Iguana also comes with ten more bonus tracks recorded in MP3-HTML format, which you can listen to on your computer. If you have a CD-ROM device, of course. It’s double your pleasure, double your fun, for everyone. It’s not often you get this sort of value for your money, in terms of quantity and quality.

And yes, the ten MP3 tracks are all as diverse and fascinating as the regular ones. Drawn from assorted RPO CDs and performances, they’re a nice sampler of what else you can expect from the unexpected. “Sex and Death” has an almost-jazzy feel, while “Are You Satisfied” feels almost techno-pop-something in its atmosphere.

Two thumbs up. Highly recommended. I’m serious. Any more talking on my part would be wasted. Buy this one. Buy copies for your friends. Catch them in concert. They’re a Wisconsin-based group (of all places!) which means that you’ll most likely run into them in Wisconsin, Minnesota, or Michigan.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some CDs to hunt down.